Archive Without Title

An exersise in self-hypnosis causes pain and distress. Our host locks himself in a small cabinet with a ‘motivational’ tape-loop in oder to boost his self-esteem and make him more appealing to women.

• Intro, self harm leads to a conflict with an old lady, and a misunderstanding as to the causes of AIDS.

• Once again, in a cupboard with a speaker and a looped piece of dialogue. A maddening experiment where our host attempts to convince himself that he is “Only the Best Boyfriend in the World”, but instead finds regret in the fact that he is unmoved by the experiment.

The first of an exciting new series of Epistaxis Time. Fashion changes every day and its up to shows like this to help you keep your wits. Includes celebrity gossip, fashion tips and how to spice up your love life.

• Into: Hot fashion tips with flashbacks of self-loathing.

• An untitled but ‘hot’ new track that you should have on your iPod.

• Everybody Dance - disconcerting electro about experiences in Korfu and Aya-Nappa leading to insomnia.

• Rubbish fashions; Reporting from a messy junk-yard ends with the discovery of a car mechanic’s diary and a broken promise to reveal extracts from it in the next show.

• Latency in social circumstances: The inability to respond to simple questions in a timely manner. An encounter with an attractive street pollster provokes undue conversational delay.

Yet another show in which our host has imprisoned himself in a small locked cupoboard with only a guitar and a tape-recorder. Miserable anti-tainment.

A badly organised self-help group is not impressed by a story in which a series of penis photographs leads to hospitalisation.

• Intro: Our host attempts to play an unusual instrument in a shopping centre, but is forced to abandon the act due to embarrasment.

• Monologue: A farcical support group. Our host explains how he became hospitalized after becoming obsessed with covert photography of people urinating against his front-garden fence.

• Untitled noise compilation.

• “Never before have I seen such a repulsive sight”

• Song: “Summer Days are Here Again”, our host laments the coming of summer. A dreary monotone about self-harm and social exclusion which ends in a chipper melody about sun-tan cream.

Includes a circuit-bent unemployed burglar from Dagenham, and a found micro-cassette with a business-man’s sinister yet boring schemes.

• Intro: “Going to the shopping centre to buy food ‘n things”

• The resteraunt owner; Failure to conduct deliveries properly leads to panic attack. Later we learn that this resteraunteur treats his staff poorly.

• An encounter with a burglar in a shed leads to a demonstration of ‘circuit bending’.

• A found recording of a teacher who is overly fond of her own voice demonstrating a tape-recorder. Our host attempts to emulate the noise of looped sections of this recording with his own voice.

• A business killed by supermarkets, plus a boring business-man’s sinister sounding dictaphone tape.