Archive for July, 2004

#9. Rolling Apples in the Supermarket

Wednesday, July 28th, 2004

Our host endulges in anti-social activities in a local supermarket in order to attract the attention of an attractive sales assistant.

#8. Carbon Monoxide Special

Wednesday, July 21st, 2004

An experiment in self-carbon monoxide poisoning is aborted due to choking and nausea.

  • Intro: Carbon Monoxide Experiment. The exhaust gas of a car are ducted into a small cabinet in which our host attempts to play the elastic-band zyther. The experiment fails within seconds due to choking and nausia.

  • A coughing fit.

  • Song: “In a stolen social worker’s car” an up-beat ditty about Carbon Monoxide suicide, ending in a mash-up of white noise.

  • Conridge Recording studio: A trip to the site of a demolished studio where Chaz and Dave once recorded brings our host in conflict with the local Gypsies.

  • Sung Monologue: ‘I know you dont care, but this morning I went to get a sausage roll from the bakers’.

#7. Lamp Post Door Special

Wednesday, July 14th, 2004

Yet another scientific / musical experiement decends into paranoia. Our host investigates the accoustic properties of Lamp Post Doors when suspended by twine. This show includes lamp-post door compositions and a visit from the Jehova’s Witnesses.

  • Intro: Hinding in a bush because of a botched lamp-post-door theft. Our host explains the theory and practice of lamp-post door theft.

  • Untitled lamp-post door composition.

  • Our host is forced to abandon yet another lamp-post door as he is spotted in the act of removal.

  • Melody: “Leg it, Leg it”, composed from samples of lamp-post-doors about running away from people who observer lamp-post door theft.

  • Back at home: Our host shares his love of lamp-post doors, and takes a moment to listen to a radio station that sounds rather like Kiss FM.

  • Everytime I look around this town by “MC Indigestion”.

  • An introduction to the harmonics of lamp-post-doors is interrupted by a visit from the Jehovas’ witnesses. A religious magazine from the visitors becomes an impromptu beater for the lamp-post doors.

  • “The Big Issues in Life” - A lamp-post door compilation including samples of Jehovas’ Witness speech.

  • Our host is driven by guilt to re-unite the stolen lamp-post doors with their original lamp-posts, and must lament the lost musical opportunities this represents.

  • End: Untitled lamp-post door melody.

#6. Humillation infront of somebody you are trying to impress

Wednesday, July 7th, 2004

An incident in a library in which a stalker is forced to confront the boyfriend of his stalkee and ends with him throwing books at the object of his affection.

  • A stalker observes the female object of his lust in a university library leading conflict and self loathing. An unprovoked attack against the girl’s boyfriend lead to an escalation of violence.

  • An untitled melody that sounds like it was performed on guitar and bicycle spokes.

  • An untitled track that features moaning and buzzy-sounding percussion.

  • A hypnotic yet distressing electronic melody.