Archive Without Title

This episode contains a sob story, but more importantly: a celebrity interview(!), but I shan’t spoilt it by revealing too much. How refreshing! Here’s a mapping to guide you through this episode’s construct:

• JJ and his Substrates - Submarining
• Magazine reviews
• It Seems So Right, It’s Wro-ho-ong - The Effeminate Xylophonists
• Sludgemunchkin - Sludgemunchkin
• Heimlich Manoeuvrability - Cindy’s Workout Tapes (No. 14)

Under a cloud of financial/general difficulties our host finds himself homeless, so woos us with his ’sonic portrait’ skills that showcase his potential as your personal in-house artist (if you grant him accommodation, that is). A marvellous gem from his music collection follows:

• Sam Jones - Hero
• An enthused reading of a poem entitled ‘Onion’ ends in… yes, you’ve guessed it: tears. Literally, in fact, as our host has an accident of the wet, lukewarm and gold variety.
• Ron, Pamela and Betty in conjunction with the Whetstone Amateur Melodramatic Society - Neighbourhood Watchdogs
• The joy of looking in bins
• Dean - How Do You Make Money?
• How Do You Make Money (instrumental ‘Employee of the Month’ remix)

Following the well-trodden path of saying “hello” on radio and suchlike, attempts are made to orientate the listener as fully as humanly possible. However, the introduction is stripped of all credibility and matter-of-factness, as the dialogue was recorded in anti-realtime from within a phase inverted superelectromagnetic space-chamber which interferes with one’s perception of time.

I have it on good authority that in spite of the embarrassing proclamations herein, his parents are still proud of him; mainly because of the anti-realtime time disruption facilitator thingybob, a difficult thing to build indeed.

Tracks proceed thusly:

• Peter Grudzein - Candy Arse Lover
• Followed by a short acoustical investigation.
• The Jazz Punishment Directive - Dance like a Victim
• Felicity’s Bean - Heavy Metal
• Followed by an amusing anecdote
• Admiral Messyface and his Bumchugging Jizz Quartet - Shropshire Examiner
• A haiku couplet.
• Abu Quitar-Martyr and the Funk Radicals - There She Goes (Fatwa)